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The Fear You've Built Your Life Around

by An Ongoing Story

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1.
This is time that we can't take back With every moment that will justify taking a drag And when the smokes are gone we’ll get another pack Cuz this is who we are and this is all we have It seems a little far fetched To assume that we’re ready for what happens next As we wait with the same Damn logic Of blaming the past but repeating the process We’ve always been the type to roam To run away just to come back home Faking fearless but scared to death It's harder now to feel alive And God forbid we even try To take a second and gather our thoughts A much needed moment to know what exactly we want This is time that we won't take back With every second that we watch just skip through the cracks These are the plans that I've made These are the plans that I've kept I've made up and fucked up some shit that I said So whatever's left I guess In time it will get me through the rest In time it will get me through the rest This is time that we can't take back This is time that we won't take back
2.
I know you At least I like to think I do But it's so hard when wrapped in dismal thought Still I'll attempt To be the one that keeps you distracted And you'll pretend it's what you want So tell me where you are and tell me where you want to be I'd like to think that I could take you there But based on my luck I guess I'd probably fuck it up As so do so well I'll make do With any sort of love you provide me Cuz lately it's been hard to live myself And I know, I know, I know, I know I'm better than that better than that, oh I just can't see it for myself But if you could explain to me why I should cease to think I'm dying Then maybe I could try to read again But it's not worth your sanity so let's commit to total silence And I'll make due with getting stoned instead Now tell me who you are and tell me who you want to be I'd like to say I'm proud of who I am but that's a Goddamn lie Its with your body next to mine That I am practically fine + You were on the rooftop with your friends Old enough to drink but drunk enough to play pretend Looking at the city from behind a camera lens You zoom in on the windows You watch a mother out her kids to bed A little to the left there is a couple having sex There a suddle sense of beauty in the simplest event's As you blush and point your head down To the cars around you It's never quite as good as it will get You drank all that you could and finished every cigarette Its two in the morning and you want to go to bed But that's not what this nights about You spent the whole summer in your room Talking to yourself letting sadness consume you All you've ever wanted was something to do All you've ever wanted was something to groove So here it is Take it or leave it To put and live Mother fucker it is here if you need it
3.
I use to watch you standing there Just playing with your golden hair You'd smile right at me My friends pointing and laughing At 12 years young I had a crush And never before did I care so much About the results of my actions And if my clothes meet modern fashion I swear I fell in love for the first time And it was everything I'd ever need McCartney was right I took you out my mother drove She dropped us off and hit the road At the park we would swing And enjoy our ice cream We’d talk about the world we knew Just TV shows and kids from school I'd ask you if you like me You’d blush and enlight me Oh, oh yeah It's coming back around again Think fast Its coming back around I swear I fell in love for the first time And it was everything I'd ever need (McCartney was right) I swear I fell in love I swear I fell in love I swear I fell in love for the first time I couldn't find you You moved away I tried to call you But it was late You're mother answered And I got scared I hung up instantly
4.
I use to watch you standing there Just playing with your golden hair You'd smile right at me My friends pointing and laughing At 12 years young I had a crush And never before did I care so much About the results of my actions And if my clothes meet modern fashion I swear I fell in love for the first time And it was everything I'd ever need (McCartney was right) I took you out my mother drove She dropped us off and hit the road At the park we would swing And enjoy our ice cream We’d talk about the world we knew Just TV shows and kids from school I'd ask you if you like me You’d blush and enlight me Oh, oh yeah It's coming back around again Think fast Its coming back around I swear I fell in love for the first time And it was everything I'd ever need (McCartney was right) I swear I fell in love I swear I fell in love I swear I fell in love for the first time I couldn't find you You moved away I tried to call you But it was late You're mother answered And I got scared I hung up instantly
5.
Let's stay close you said As you granted me the title of the luxury you'll never except And with that I'd pretend Though it's hard to interpret I know that you meant it I know you were rarely content As every contradiction would gracefully leap of over my head In a genuine time you would speak “It’s not you I'm just more fucked up than you think” But Every word you said came out a lie As you construct an illegitimate alibi And with our continuous cleared we’ll see the brighter side I'll say you're selfish and you'll claim that I'm the sensitive type Don't get so distressed Is only natural that my faults lead you to second guessing Till I'm hardly a friend And I create a spiteful to that makes me out as some kind of dick Cuz Every word you said came out a lie As you construct an illegitimate alibi And with our continuous cleared we’ll see the brighter side I'll say you're selfish and you'll claim that I'm the sensitive type And yeah it's pretty clear I wasn't worth your time I wasn't shocked to hear you found a better guy I hope you're happy now, now that you cut all ties If it's as easy as you make it I should give it a try
6.
I was holding up a match To light your cigarette And I could see your breath as you leaned in I offered you my coat You whispered when you spoke as you spoke As you relied with “nah I don't need it” But we would reach a point Where we would share a joint And talk about the bullshit that we never could avoid Between your crooked teeth How I stuttered when I speak And all the insecurities that kept us paranoid Paranoid And I was feeling something I had never felt My head held up so high I love the cards I'm Dealt But I get nervous when you point out the time we've killed It's never gonna last that long It's never gonna last that long I want to make it last I couldn't bear the fact That any sort of love we had would end at 2AM Cuz you would have to go And I would only hope That fate could play it's part and we could probably meet again And again and again and again and And I was feeling something I had never felt My head held up so high I love the cards I'm Dealt But I get nervous when you point out the time we've killed It's never gonna last that long It's never gonna last that long And I was feeling something Oh, I was feeling something I was feeling something I had never felt I was feeling something Fuck yeah I was feeling something I was feeling something I had never fel
7.
You spoke in metaphors Trying to portray a sense of beauty I'm the worthless words you're spewing Through your lips You made it such a chore Just to look back at the wasted weekends Got caught in a playful pretence That I would hold so true You couldn't see it through And I'm not gonna pry When talking about love Its your call (×3) But with all the wasted time I've had enough Not your fault (×3) Don't take it personal You've opened several doors Given me strength and a sense of wonder I played it cool just to be your lover All night But I found it so much more Than holding on tight to a bunch of blank feeling I know you're far from healing I watched you fall apart Darling I know your scars And I'm not gonna pry When talking about love Its your call (×3) But with all the wasted time I've had enough Not your fault (×3) Don't take it personal I watched you disappear And I fought back every tear And I'm not gonna pry When talking about love Its your call (×3) But with all the wasted time I've had enough Not your fault (×3) Don't take it personal (×2)
8.
We’ve always been the type to roam To run away just to come back home Taking fearless but scared to death It's harder now to feel alive And God forbid we even try To take a second and gather our thoughts A much needed moment to know what exactly we want We use to see it as a playful trick Expose ourselves to consequence Enough to know that life gets pretty rough And now the only thing we know Is giving up and getting old Only to think about what life could be If we never grew up What if we never grew up

credits

released February 25, 2017

Christian Evans Guitar, Bass Vox
Luke Sabo - Drums
Tyler Bohinc - Guitar, Vox
Hallie Hertrick - Vox
Arielle Tindel - Cello, Synth, Vox
Drew Paramore - Glockenspiel

Carly Graham/Ammunition Audio - Production

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An Ongoing Story Ohio

Just a happy emo and a bunch of the emo's friends

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